rainy nights

despite the fact that my car needs work and that i have to get up tomorrow morning, i am doing quite well.

it rained pretty heavily tonight and it was.... refreshing?

also, i met my host teacher for student teaching at her house today. she is pretty much the best. i am so excited for my student teaching position and i think that she is too. she seems like a lot of fun and very good at what she does. i cannot wait.

life is interesting right now. might be going to the drive in with a boy. and maybe some other people, maybe not? we'll see how that goes.... ;)

ok, definitely time for bed.

love,

weekendhack

all too often

story

there are so many comments on this story from all kinds of people. a lot of white people saying “these guys don’t know how to handle money, etc” a lot of black people saying “all you white people have no idea what you are talking about, etc” and both of them have some valid points

First of all, I think the fault lies with Extreme Home Makeover. If someone is in financial crisis to begin with, what do you think giving them $450,000 worth of collateral is going to do, make them Donald Trump? Sure they will have a house that is paid for, but how will they pay for the electricity? Oh, it’s ok, we’ll give them another $200,000 to cover the expenses of keeping up a house like that. Just because someone has a lot of money, doesn’t mean they are a wise investor. I think that the Home Makeover should include a financial training program with their houses. You can’t give people fish, you have to teach people how to fish.

Second, JP Morgan, wtf? If you knew their financial history, why on earth did you let them use their home as collateral? That is risky business right there. It is one thing to invest in an unstable market on something that might not pull through, but to give a $450,000 loan to a family that is not only financially irresponsible, but to one that has absolutely no experience in dealing with big money? Seriously…

Third, my heart goes out to the family. What a crazy, twisted world we live in, where one minute you live like a king, and the next, you are back to your tiny house with your whole family. I hope that you all have learned something, a) big loans are usually not in your best interest and b) you are not donald trump. being financially shrewd and a good investor can give you the power to take out a loan against your house (still definitely not a good idea, unless you have a few houses) but until then, you have to work your way up. I hope that things work out for you and your family. 

Last, to all you future homemakover receivers… please be responsible with the great gift that people have toiled and worked over for you. It’s not permanent, nor can you take it with you when you die, but you can at least be mindful of it and use it to help others.

sj

all too often

determined or deranged

if i had to work 8 hours a day, 5 days a week in an office, i would go bonkers.

 i had to work 8 hours today and i was just shy of running out the door screaming "AAAAAAAsadl;kfj;la

djghgkd;fjds;fdjhf

jkdshfajksdfk

jahdfkdkfa

sjdhfa

sg

f" all the way. 

I think it is the light from the fluorescent bulbs. It's constantly moving and changing, which makes your focus shift slight every millisecond. Like little tiny photosensitive light seizures. 

WARNING: If you are prone to PSLS, do not work in an office. Or watch IMAX all day long.

this post is random yes, but it does have point.

i will not be able to work an office job the rest of my life thus ruling out from career options : anything to do with businesses or offices.

looks like i am joining the peace corps. 

:) won't my mother be proud?

love, 

weekendhack

p.s. ROTFL thinking about what my mom's face would look like if i started some dreads. or a tattoo of some sort. oh it's just too good. ::tee hee::

what the heck.

i really don't appreciate it when a joke turns into someone taking offense and then complaining about it.  

srsly?

grow up. and welcome to the real world.

mid morning blog

alright so it is almost noon. give me a break!

those thunderstorms last night were a little on the rough side and kept me awake. eventually the rain got me to sleep peacefully.

everyone is having babies or getting married!!!

this is not cool because i am not doing either of those things. not even in the foreseeable future. 

bah humbug.

ok, crankypants me is through ranting. this week has been overall, uneventful. although my last swing class last night was really fun. we did a whole routine. problem is, that was the last one! i'm really going to make the effort of going to the dances they have every week, a) stress relief and general enjoyment, b) because it really is a lot of fun and i think i could be good at it if i keep up with it. 

at work it has been a little more stressed due to this whole pickup basketball situation. the men's and women's teams sponsor pickup games through the summer so the players (and prospective players) can stay in shape. however, the guys take advantage of this and bring all their friends, their moms, their girlfriends, their cousins, and it just gets so out of control that we had to start charging them. only thing is, most of the girls that come to play are either current team members or prospectives, so we decided not to charge them. but then the guys found out we weren't charging the girls and got all ticked off. long story short: we had to restart charging the girls. apparently last night everything went smoothly so my job will be easier on thursday. 

ok, it is high time i got some lunch. 

love,

weekendhack

p.s. i am still utterly and completely unsure of what i am doing with my life. 

since my blog is somehow in pacific time, this post is actually on my birthday

i could have sworn i set that to eastern standard time a while ago...


regardless, i am officially: two decades old, not a teenager, a twenty-something, not twenty-one, and old enough that [hopefully] people won't look at me funny when i say that i am senior in college.

two decades [!]

it really hasn't processed yet. it will eventually. for now when people ask how old i am, i'll say "nineteen...i mean twenty..." and they will "sure you are..."

i have been thinking about something lately and since most of the people in my immediate world would flip and out and say 'holy cow sj what are you thinking' i will bounce this idea off the blog world. hopefully, to a less critical audience.

what if i got my masters in music ed, but then i got [another] degree in english literature? or...journalism? or computers? AGH. i have too many options that i cannot make up my mind. i would love to study abroad. oxford maybe? i could be a literary scholar. there is nothing i like better than a good book and a cup of coffee. is this just hype? is it popular to be a writer? do i like the image only and shun the bleak reality of my sole existence depending on my ability to criticize or create good literature?
but it would not be my sole existence. i could still teach music. heck, i could get a job in a school, or an office. with the recommendation that i hope i will get from my current boss, i could get a job working anywhere. (within the realm of reality of course, we're not talking NASA folks)

this post is incredibly long, yes. however...me sorting out my reason for existence has the potential to last a lifetime, across a vast sea of blogs, journals, diaries and rants on unsuspecting forum hosts.

could weekend hack really be a writer? or a literary critic? is it too late for me to do something i really want with my life? all you older people out there who have changed jobs 3.5 times (according to some survey i heard about a while ago), is it really worth it? i know, i know. i am only twenty. i have my whole life ahead of me to make mistakes, make good decisions, learn, grow, be a wife, be a mom.

i know that no one knows the answer but, how in the name of Benjamin Franklin's spectacles does it all fit together?

my birthday post ladies and gentlemen, from you very own weekendhack. future writer/music teacher/journalist/web designer/literary critic/overall crazy person.

<3 weekendhack.

mon anniversaire...c'est...dimanche?

my french is incredibly rusty. i don't know if it was ever anything that could rust, but man oh man, it's rusty now.

my birthday is sunday and i am feeling a mix of both excitement and neutrality. i feel so much older than i am that turning 20 doesn't really hold much charm. don't get me wrong, i am thrilled to not be a teenager anymore. at the same time though, i am remiss with doubts of the future, what the hell i am doing with my life and how work, love, friends, family and music will all play into it. *sigh* i just wish things would lay out in front of me saying "here! over here! i'm next!" so that i would know what to do.

on a lighter note, i met my host teacher for new placement. she seems fun and energetic and she laughed at my jokes which is a big plus. she offered to help me get to school by carpooling (!!!) which is possibly the best thing ever. also, i was informed by a certain guitar playing gentleman that there are definitely apartments to rent in the town of my second placement month by month. if the weather is bad enough, i may just rent a place out there for 0ct - dec. don't know how my parents will feel about that, but it will probably even out for gas. plus, i would only have to drive about 10 minutes, as compared to 45. i will definitely be looking into that.

work today was hectic. there is a church camp using our campus and it's just nuts. first off, the group is pentecostal and very... eccentric in their worship style. also, some of the kids, this one in particular, feel like they are so on fire for God that they need to act that way 24/7. i understand that it is a big deal to be released from sin and to know salvation but sometimes it can be really obnoxious to hang around that guy who says "praise the Lord" all day. praising God is good, but only when you mean. not just when you say it for show. 

:rant = over:

all that to say, i am a little cranky and a lot hungry. 

love,

weekendhack

one week!

it is surreal to think that i am almost 20. i mean, it was just yesterday that i graduated high school. i was 16. yeah yeah yeah. i know "holy cow, that's so young!" 

tell me about it.

i've always felt old for my age. sometimes a little, sometimes a lot.

but now i'll be 20. not 19, and yet, not 21.

according to legend, the year of your birth when it coincides with your birthday is supposed to be your best year. your definitive year. 

hear's hopin'.

love

weekendhack

p.s. the room cleanout has been going well, trying to getting everything ready for fall. it seems that the summer is just flying by with no holds barred. i met my host teacher (!) the other day and she seems...wonderful. she's fun and crazy and i am so excited to work with her. she invited me over to dinner this summer so i could get to know her. that will be interesting but i'm glad for it.

wtf?

according to my textbook for my online gym class (haha) i am considered borderline obese!

O_o

w.t.f...?

i would like to live a long time thank-you-very-much so, tomorrow begins the journey towards a healthier me. (a slew of blog posts are on there way full of what i ate what i did and me kavetching about life)

sorry blogosphere but it has to be done.

current weight: 161

goal weigh: 130

lbs to go: 31

exercise today: zilch. unless you count making copies.. then....3 hours of making copies.

life. campfires. summer.

i think that you can define life by small moments. whether they be happy or sad, solitary or populated, new or old, they are defining moments. And they are what we make them. sometimes we miss them because we are too concerned with the circumstances around us.

these moments may be brief or they may be extended but nevertheless they are there; they exist. 

are lives are a series of these moments, strung along like golden pearls in the sunlight, a long path, all connected to each other, leading up to one another in a long succession of failures and triumphs. 

in the end, we are not defined by the size or the brightness of our pearls, but whether or not they have led us to a place of wisdom and love. 

love

weekendhack