Friday, January 18, 2008

week one: complete

outside of some erratic sleep patterns, i would say the first week of school has been an overall success. i made myself complete my homework for my orchestration class waaay ahead of time so that I could chill this weekend and do the other lighter stuff.

things in the roommate dept are ok. i feel like i just need to let this go. i think that it will be easier now that i talked with him and tried to give him so idea of what i was going through. short of crying and throwing a hissy fit i don't think there is much i can do.

in the other dept. which would be i guess the "love" dept. i think things are going where they should. i've been getting ahead of myself concerning a guy friend of mine and it's best now to nip it in the bud. i just want to get to know him and be his friend. outside of that, well. i don't think there is much future there. i know that there is someone out there for me. there has to be. the only problem is that he is out there and not here. but... he is not here for a reason. and that reason is that i am not quite ready yet. i would really need to get to know someone.

a few people have told me that i really won't get over this guy (old boyfriend guy not new friend guy) until i meet and date someone new. i think they are right but i don't want it to be just anyone. and i really don't want this new guy to think the only reason i hang out with him and talk with him is because i like him. i do, a little, but that's NOT the point. i just want to get to know him. i'm not planning our wedding or putting his name in hearts. i just want him to be my friend. a true friend. a confidant. someone he turns to. because i wasn't that in my last close relationship with a boy. this is my chance to not mess things up.

guh. sorry for blog vomiting all over you but sometimes a girl has got to vent and when her roommate has been passed out since 10:30, well, blogger, you become my sounding board.

much love,
weekendhack

2 comments:

a.jane said...

oh my dear.

getting over someone will never be "fixed" by dating someone new. don't believe that. getting over someone has to be an inside process. something that you do because you need to do it to have peace. dating someone else before you've actually moved one will just put a strain on the new relationship.

just a thought.

sj said...

mm point well taken. i think that i am ready in a non vindictive way. i am no longer romantically involved with said person. at all. even remotely. and while i might still be uncomfortable with him and other said person, i feel like it is not only that i need to move on, but that it is time. however, the right person isn't even here yet so i think i still have a while to wait. hmf.